A Good Chuckle

A Good Chuckle

Monday, July 21, 2014

Words That Rhyme

One of the many things a parent is responsible for is the education of his/her children. This is challenging sometimes if you are trying to teach something that your kids have no interest in learning at the moment. The key is to find what they want to learn and teach them about that. It opens the door to learning other stuff. And then there are times like this... 

My oldest daughter is interested in just about everything from baking cookies to star systems in space. She will ask me a question and then, upon getting my reply, if she deems it cool enough to hear more about, she will literally say to me "Dad, tell me everything you know about [insert cool shit she wants to learn here]."

Her younger brother is not interested in many things outside of cars, puzzles, and memory games. When we were trying to teach him to count, he didn't care one bit. Considering that his favorite color is blue, and he loves to play with his little cars, we began to teach him to count by counting blue cars (Dishwalla?). But it is tough to spark his interest in things he doesn't care about - like most little kids, he just cares about having fun.

Anyway, fast forward to words that rhyme. My girlfriend was teaching our kids about words that rhyme, using some fun examples. "A goose and a moose on the loose! Goose, moose, loose. Lets make a cake by the lake! Make, cake, lake."

Getting ready to leave for work - basically running around the house looking for all the shit I need to take with me because I am the living embodiment of disorganization. I would lose my head if it weren't attached and you would find me playing some interesting "Marco-Polo" to get it back. Since it is attached, I can hear all the learning taking place in the living room as I frantically scour the nonsense littered across my night stand for my work ID.

From the other room I can hear my kids taking turns rhyming words. "Door, more, ploor!" And "Sink, think, Stink!" They are laughing it up, having a great time. And rightfully so - their mother is excellent at making things fun for them and my kids are all about having fun.

When I am getting prepared for work, running a little behind schedule, and still cannot find all the things I need, I get a little agitated.

"Soup, poop, goop!"

I enter the living room, "Hey, have you seen my work ID?"

"ID, mighty, bitey!" Kids learning to rhyme will rhyme sounds without regard to the actual language - kind of like Lil Wayne. 

Frustrated and with no help from the peanut gallery I run back to my bed room to double and triple check the places my ID should be but alas it is still not there. I holler out, "Where did you put it when you washed my pants, honey?"

"Honey, funny, wunny!"

You know that feeling you get when you are agitated and you can almost feel your blood boiling? Nobody is doing anything to me, but I can't help feeling this frustration. I can't find my ID and every time I ask for help my kids are rhyming words at me like some terrible Mother-Goose-rap-along from hell. Where the hell is my stuff? I want to yell, but I don't. When you are a parent, you slowly but surely master the art of the maniacal forced-smile instead of yelling obscenities in the presence of children.

"I still can't find my ID, I am gonna be late!" I call out in desperation. And in reply I hear my girlfriend getting on the case.

The kids don't miss a beat, "late, great, jate!"

My girlfriend, being the pinnacle of order and organization quickly finds my ID, effortlessly, as though she knew where it was the whole time. She tells me so and I hurriedly scurry out of whatever crevice I am searching and obtain it from her. Victory!

"Thanks Honey!"

"Honey, funny, lunny!" The kid chorus goes followed by a right fit of hysteria.

Calmer now that my head is firmly reattached to my neck, I acknowledge my kids' learning. "You guys are doing well with rhyming! Good job!"

"Job, blob, tob!"

I get to the door, look over my shoulders and say, "Can you guys think of words that rhyme with BUCKET?"

Dumbstruck, both kids cock their heads sideways, like confused puppies trying to piece together this new challenge.

Close the door and off to work I go! I am sure I'll hear about this later!

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